Sunday, February 10, 2013

From Dwayne L. Harralson Jr. "What's your favorite strain of "herbal medication?"


Dear Dwayne,


You mean tea?  I drank some Chamomile Tea last night.  It fucking put me to sleep.  That is a testament to the amount of chemicals I don't consume.  

The real question is what is my least favorite strain of "herbal medication" is.  Not including the awful substance that is "spice" I had this guy in the deep south hand me a fucking bag of weed, and say, "That's Sour Diesel."  Except it took him four minutes to say the word: sour.  I looked down at the bag.  It looked like the fucking Charley Brown Christmas Tree had died, and had been thrown in a fire place, then in the washing machine and then dried by attaching it to the top of your car and then driving 100mph down the freeway, in an oil storm.

Sally will tax your ass, fool.

You can't pour fucking lemon juice and fucking oil into a bag of weed and call it Sour Diesel.  So the question, for you, is quite complex, as any sophisticated Nor Cal smoker knows, but in a place like Ohio, they are just happy to get a bag that only has three pencil erasers embedded in what appears to be a chunk of particle board with seeds in it.  If anything is being "strained" there it's most likely being done through a crystal meth saturated coffee filter.


Akron native Eric C. pictured in his living room.

The only bonus is that the rubber bands they use to weigh down the bricks are a great way to save money on orthodontia expenditures.  With a pound of brick weed the cost of the rubber bands is quite competitive compared to  cost you would incur at the dentists office.  Plus, you get so baked that you don't give a shit if three of your back teeth are in the front.

Holy shit there is a guy floating in the background of this picture.  Far out.

Personally, my favorite strain of weed, is weed.
Sofa King

Submit your questions for Sofa King, no matter how complex to www.facebook.com/sofakinghighbro
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1 comment:

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